Self-Care: 3 Ways to Survive the Holidays

I had a friend who went out of his way to work during the holidays just to avoid being available to go home and be with his family. While his motives were money-driven (he didn’t receive holiday pay), his main reason was that he would rather deal with the dysfunction of his clients than deal with the dysfunction of his own family. Was that odd? And if it was odd, by whose standards?

The last few days of social media has been buzzing with the word “friendsgiving”--this idea of spending time with those closest to you with whom you have formed intentional relationships rather than the obligatory ones via bloodlines. I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with the whole idea. I believe each person is given an ability to make their own decisions and no two people should necessarily have the same decision even if they are related.

However and with whomever you choose to spend the holidays with, just remember to take time out for things, places, and people that feed your spirit, mind, heart, body, and soul. Here are three healthy ways to survive the holidays by prioritizing self-care.

1. Don’t let your spirit be crushed

Perhaps one of the most difficult steps of self-care is learning which relationships we should leave on the table, which to make palatable for both parties, and which to walk away from altogether. Part of caring for yourself is making decisions that are good for your health and well-being, not contingent solely upon feelings or other people’s opinions of you.

Willingly entering into a hostile environment, during a time that should be uplifting like the holidays, is counter-productive; especially in situations of abuse. Why should you subject your time-off for that? Part of self-care is setting up firm boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships. However many are too afraid. Part of self-care is being confident with your decisions in how to relate to other people.Don’t spend all of your time in environments that will crush you.

2. Don’t let negativity consume you

Self-care during the holidays also involves regulating the thoughts that swim through our minds. While it’s known as a season of giving, for many it is really a season of depression and acknowledgement of depravity. It can be struggling with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), being reminded of your lack of material wealth, recalling failed and broken relationships, feeling the inner pain and loneliness and heartache from loss or alienation… Whatever your negative thoughts are, put them aside Replace every negative thought with a life-giving one. You will have to continuously do this until those thoughts are less frequent  . Changing your mindset does in fact change your life. As an adolescent I struggled with self-esteem and my entire life changed when I started thinking different. It won’t happen

overnight, but it does happen over time. More importantly, get professional help if you need to. Depression during the holidays runs rampant. Please seek professional help for example, 1-800-273-TALK. Please reach out to your support networks.

3. Don’t over-commit

There are too many holidays where I signed up for making baked goods, committed to parties, carols, etc, often in the midst of semester finals and projects just to feel like a celebrated the holidays well. But each time I did a plethora of activities, I found myself regretting not spending enough time in reflection. I regretted not having low-key moments that didn’t involve exquisite planning, expense, and time. Schedule downtime during the holidays. Don’t fall into the spell of the chaotic agenda of events that consume the end of the year. Downtime can considerably reduce the stress and strain.

Remember this

You have the power to shape your experience this holiday season. Much of life is about having a different perspective, making difficult decisions, while preserving the essence of who you are.

What brings you joy during the holidays? How do you practice self-care?

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Marquita Bell is a self-care advocate and the owner of The Body Buffet which creates handmade artisan soap, shampoo bars, facial bars, laundry soap and more. They use local ingredients when possible and have aimed to make conditioning skin-loving, hair-loving, clothes-loving soap since 2009. Based out of Philadelphia, they aim to live healthier, more sustainable lives inside and out.